Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
