Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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