Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
