don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
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