Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
