What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
