One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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