i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
