im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
