this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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