hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
