My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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