life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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