This girl is more easily done than said...
Just cropdusted the office
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
