you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
