I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
