i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
