bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
