he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
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I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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