Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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