Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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