If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize