my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
