thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
