What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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