Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize