totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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