Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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