I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
