Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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