So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
