She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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Be still, my beating vagina.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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