omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
