The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just tell him i said nine months
Welp...herpes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
