How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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