allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
