i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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