We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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