Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
sick fucks of a feather flock together
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
