No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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