And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
