so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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