My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
