The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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