scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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