A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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