You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
