dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
