If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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