Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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