Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my sisters under your porch take her home
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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