I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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