Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
