Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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