Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
