I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
