Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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