Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
