we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
