Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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