Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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