i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
