Princesses don't give blow jobs
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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