can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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