She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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