Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
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