It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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